Have I got the movie for you.
The next big thing!
It’s got action, romance, and explosions with the very best actors and actresses working in Hollywood today. You know that one handsome devil? The sexy actress you dream of every night? This film has them and more acting ‘till they’re sore.
How did we get them? We pitched the script to them. It would boost their careers. Offered them a huge paycheck. We did it all! And my how it paid off.
For those more auteur-driven types, the man leading this astounding cast, directing each cog and machine in perfect harmony to bring you this spectacle is the man. He’s an award winner and a heart stealer! Tarantino, Waititi, Spielberg, Kubrick, Hitchcock, Scorsese, Coppola. They have nothing on this guy.
He’ll be your new favorite director if you haven’t heard of him, and your film god if you have!
And the genre? Oh boy the genre is a doozy.
Imagine the wildest story you are capable of, anchored by the most human of humanist storytelling and the most funny/ tragic/heroic/villainous characters to ever be funny/tragic/ heroic/villainous. It is an epic fiction of fantasy that not even science can properly replicate, a drama to end all previous dramas and all future dramas.
It is a story filled with heartbreak and love, beginnings humble and historic, endings both happy and bad.
It is escapist! It reflects the modern struggles of the times!
It brings the issues of history back to the forefront! It is life- changing! It is entertainment! It is whatever you want it to be!
No matter taste or preference, believe me when I say that this film has it. It will have every “it” you can possibly imagine.
Kids will shriek with laughter. The elderly will cry in despair. Teens will talk about it over sports games and car rides. Adults will write essays and think pieces about how wonderful it is.
This is not just a movie, it is a call to action! It is THE movie. Seeing it is a task everyone must complete. It will be irresponsible to not see it. See it or remain a disappointment to your loved ones for the rest of your life.
You’ll condemn its violence, you’ll celebrate its empathy! You’ll decry its message, you’ll celebrate its meaning!
This movie is everything. It will have everything! Toys, comics, tie-in novels, podcasts, songs, candy! There will be White House screenings no matter the party or politics! I bet it will have themed Happy Meals in every restaurant, from fast food to Mexican!
It will be the next big thing, and I challenge any one of you to prove me otherwise.
Now, to tell you what this movie is about— Wait...
Out there in the distance...
Is that...
Holy shit! A new thing! Guys! Guys!
Would you look at that!?
Oh wow! It is!
No matter taste or preference, believe me when I say that this film has it. It will have every “it” you can possibly imagine.
Kids will shriek with laughter. The elderly will cry in despair. Teens will talk about it over sports games and car rides. Adults will write essays and think pieces about how wonderful it is.
This is not just a movie, it is a call to action! It is THE movie. Seeing it is a task everyone must complete. It will be irresponsible to not see it. See it or remain a disappointment to your loved ones for the rest of your life.
You’ll condemn its violence, you’ll celebrate its empathy! You’ll decry its message, you’ll celebrate its meaning!
This movie is everything. It will have everything! Toys, comics, tie-in novels, podcasts, songs, candy! There will be White House screenings no matter the party or politics! I bet it will have themed Happy Meals in every restaurant, from fast food to Mexican!
It will be the next big thing, and I challenge any one of you to prove me otherwise.
Now, to tell you what this movie is about— Wait...
Out there in the distance...
Is that...
Holy shit! A new thing! Guys! Guys!
Would you look at that!?
Oh wow! It is!
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